Disorganization

Argh!!! I am trying to figure out why I have been so disorganized with my life since moving here. I am doing, for the most part, the same things here as I did in NM. But for some reason, I am so disorganized here. I feel so out of it!! I was unhappy there, yes, but I was at least organized with all aspects of my life! I even got my schoolwork done on time! I just feel like I am lacking and Im not sure how to fix it. It's not even an issue of not having friends! I only had one friend (well, 2, but count as one because they were married) so I know it's not lack of a social life. I know you all are going to tell me, just make the decision to do it and you will...but it seems so much more than that...and no, I am not depressed which I am sure at least one person who reads this will suggest I am primarily because of my previous history of depression...*sigh*...I think I just don't like it here to be honest. While Mpls is a place that Auntie Dunk loves, I don't think it is for me. I don't want to be in a place because someone else loves it. I want to be somewhere because I love it. The more time I spend here, the more I miss NM. Why?!?! I miss the mountains, the big skies, the ability to see all the stars even if one lives in the city...the wide open spaces, the mountains, the lights of Albq at night...I am quite confused as to why I feel this way. I don't want to live my life and raise Mac based on other people's experiences. I kind of feel like that is what i've done by moving here. Perhaps my situation wasn't ideal in NM, but maybe I should have changed that rather than changed my entire surroundings. I moved here for better education for Mac, among other things...yet he's not even close to going to school yet! Oh...I just have no clue what to do. I hate feeling lost...and in this sort of holding pattern...again. Mexico will be a good break for us, but I will have to come back! I definitely need a break though...just need a break.